"I ain't got no type, bad bitches is the only thing that I like, you ain't got no life, cups with the ice and we do this every night" No Type by Rae Sremmurd
"I be feeling like the man when I walk through, I ain't understand what you saying when I walk through, I got all these hoes staring when I walk through, I done made a few bands on the walk through" Walk Through by Rich Homie Quan
"Broke n****s stand to the left, my rich n****s stand to the right, little momma she keep looking at me, I'ma knock the p***y out like fight night" Fight Night by Migos
"I done did a lot just to live this here lifestyle, came straight from the bottom to the top of my lifestyle, dooodadaddommmmm, this is only the beginning, on the top of the mountain puffing on clouds, these n****s still beginning" Lifestyle by Young Thug and Rich Homie Quan
The illustrious lyrics above are from the choruses of some of the most popular rap songs out right now based on what I hear on mainstream urban radio and trust me I've heard those songs enough to verify their popularity. Let's see what do those lyrics have in common? Hoes and bitches seem to make an appearance in some form or fashion in three out of the four songs. Money is another common topic. And that's pretty much it as far as topics go oh wait there's a mention of puffing on clouds in one song so I assume that's a smoking weed reference so drugs that's another topic. If you're wondering why in the Lifestyle song at one part I just write dooodadomm it's because I have no idea what the hell he's saying at that point. You listen to the song and tell me what he's saying right there. Seriously please help me out with that.
I was born in the '80s and was a pre-teen and teenager in the '90s and to me those were the golden years of rap music. Sometimes I wonder if they were objectively great years in rap music or if my opinion is skewed because that was the time period I grew up and you always think the music from your youth is the best. So to compare let me look at the chorus lyrics for rap songs that were popular 20 years ago which would be in November 1994.
"Here comes the brand new flava in ya ear, time for new flava in ya ear, I'm kicking new flava in ya ear, Mack's the brand new flava in ya ear" Flava in Your Ear by Craig Mack
"You know very well who you are, don't let 'em hold you down, reach for the stars, you had a (blank) but not that many, 'cause you're the only one, I give you good and plenty" Juicy by The Notorious BIG
"I never understood why I could never see a man cry until I seen a man die......man cry" Never Seen a Man Cry by Scarface
"The most beautifullest thing in this world is just like that, I get in ya (repeat 3 times)" The Most Beautifullest Thing in This World by Keith Murray
First thing I notice is that hoes, bitches and p***y are missing from those lyrics so that's a good thing for me as a woman. I also notice that each song is different. The first song is about a new musical sound. The second song is encouraging you to be yourself and reach for the stars. The third song is about seeing someone die and the last song is about some mysterious beautifullest thing in the world.
In contrast with the songs from November 2014 the first one is about liking bad bitches and presumably drinking every night or chewing on ice every night it's not exactly clear. The second one is about making money and looking important when you walk through a club. The third one is about separating broke and rich people and having sex with a woman because she looks at you. The fourth one is about living some sort of grand lifestyle.
The songs from 1994 are all very different in theme and sound. If you go listen to those songs none of them sound the same musically and none of the rappers sound the same. The songs from 2014 are similar in theme because they are all essentially talking about making money, women and going to the club. Also while the rappers voices have different tones most of them rap in the same sing-songy style and musically they aren't that different.
Whether or not the songs from 1994 are objectively better than the songs of 2014 depends on your measure of goodness. If your measure is whether the songs sound similar and have similar themes than 2014 is better. If your measure is variety of music and themes than 1994 is better. My measure is the latter so songs from 1994 win.
Bottom line for all the Millennials out there my music is better than yours and if you don't want to be dumber as a result of your music you should listen to rap from the '80s and '90s. You're welcome for that free advice. I'm off to get lost in a classic rap Youtube vortex.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Adventures in Networking
NETWORKING just the word sends chills down my spine. In case you can't tell I hate networking. I always say this and really mean it. I have viewed networking as fake meaning people just network so they can meet people that can help them in some way, they aren't meeting people just to have fun and meet new people there's an agenda there which I've viewed as fake.
The problem with this view of networking is that I'm running a solo law practice and I need other people for resources and referrals so I kind of have to network. Yet a part of me still hates it. So there's my whole fake take on it and there's also the fact that I'm shy. Once I get to know people I'm nice and witty. However when I first meet people I'm quiet and withdrawn. This is not good for networking.
I've dipped my toe in the networking waters since I left my job to start my own practice in March. I did some networking at a law school alumni event in March and in April I did a little networking through a county bar association meeting. For this month I have a list of networking events and meetings to go to so I'd better get ok with networking and quickly.
I have to overcome my feeling that I'm just meeting people to see what they can do for me which I find undesirable to say the least and I have to overcome my shyness so that I don't end up being the weird girl in the corner not speaking to anyone.
So I just have to accept the fact that the purpose of networking is to meet people that can help you in your endeavors. I need other people to be successful and other people may need me as well. Perhaps if I try to view it as through networking I'm making myself available to help others while finding people who can help me then I'll feel better about it. That way I'm not just using people but also offering to help people as well so I'm not just taking without giving anything back. I think I can work with that.
Now the shyness thing is a different animal. That's been my personality for years and not easy to overcome. Granted I'm considerably less shy than I was when I was younger. When I was younger I probably wouldn't have even gone to any networking events and if I did I would have been that weird girl in the corner not speaking to anyone.
I can go to the events now and speak to people but it's still a struggle. There were definitely some times say for instance at my law school alumni event that I was more withdrawn and I had to force myself to introduce myself to new people.
By the way I find it incredibly rude to walk up to people in the middle of a conversation and introduce myself yet I've seen it done throughout various networking events. My sense of manners won't let me do this so instead I end up standing around and waiting for a break in the conversation like a kid waiting for the right moment to jump in while jumping rope. This can make for really awkward moments when someone notices you standing around waiting for your turn.
At any rate I realize that I need to network and if I view it as helping people and in return having them help me then it's an easier concept to swallow. I still have to work on the shyness thing though but practice makes perfect and I'm definitely going to be practicing my skills as I continue trying to build my practice. I'll let you know how it goes.
The problem with this view of networking is that I'm running a solo law practice and I need other people for resources and referrals so I kind of have to network. Yet a part of me still hates it. So there's my whole fake take on it and there's also the fact that I'm shy. Once I get to know people I'm nice and witty. However when I first meet people I'm quiet and withdrawn. This is not good for networking.
I've dipped my toe in the networking waters since I left my job to start my own practice in March. I did some networking at a law school alumni event in March and in April I did a little networking through a county bar association meeting. For this month I have a list of networking events and meetings to go to so I'd better get ok with networking and quickly.
I have to overcome my feeling that I'm just meeting people to see what they can do for me which I find undesirable to say the least and I have to overcome my shyness so that I don't end up being the weird girl in the corner not speaking to anyone.
So I just have to accept the fact that the purpose of networking is to meet people that can help you in your endeavors. I need other people to be successful and other people may need me as well. Perhaps if I try to view it as through networking I'm making myself available to help others while finding people who can help me then I'll feel better about it. That way I'm not just using people but also offering to help people as well so I'm not just taking without giving anything back. I think I can work with that.
Now the shyness thing is a different animal. That's been my personality for years and not easy to overcome. Granted I'm considerably less shy than I was when I was younger. When I was younger I probably wouldn't have even gone to any networking events and if I did I would have been that weird girl in the corner not speaking to anyone.
I can go to the events now and speak to people but it's still a struggle. There were definitely some times say for instance at my law school alumni event that I was more withdrawn and I had to force myself to introduce myself to new people.
By the way I find it incredibly rude to walk up to people in the middle of a conversation and introduce myself yet I've seen it done throughout various networking events. My sense of manners won't let me do this so instead I end up standing around and waiting for a break in the conversation like a kid waiting for the right moment to jump in while jumping rope. This can make for really awkward moments when someone notices you standing around waiting for your turn.
At any rate I realize that I need to network and if I view it as helping people and in return having them help me then it's an easier concept to swallow. I still have to work on the shyness thing though but practice makes perfect and I'm definitely going to be practicing my skills as I continue trying to build my practice. I'll let you know how it goes.
Friday, April 25, 2014
The Break Up Book
*These are excerpts from a book I started writing some years ago*
Signs that it's time to break up with a guy
-He doesn't even bother anymore to come up with a story to explain where he was all night
-There is a permanent butt groove in your couch from his unemployed ass sitting in the same spot all day
-He cusses you out for smiling at the cashier at Subway
-His baby momma just had another kid that looks exactly like him
-You don't even flinch anymore when his cell phone rings at 3 in the morning and he creeps out of bed
-Your total sex time for the past month adds up to an hour
-You forgot what an orgasm feels like
-He demands an allowance like a little kid
Signs he's about to break-up with you
-He picks arguments with you over the stupidest things
-He cancels dates with you at the last minute to hang out with a "cousin" you've never heard of before
-He doesn't answer the phone when you call and takes a really long time to call you back
-When you do talk on the phone he's more inattentive than usual
-He stops trying to initiate sex on a regular basis (for the love of God if this happens do a preemptive break-up because he's definitely about to break up with you)
-He starts being way too nice and considerate (back away slowly because he's feeling guilty so he's about to drop a big bomb on you)
What NOT to do after a break-up
-Call him at 2 in the morning after you've been out drinking and dancing with the girls in your "fuck him girl" dress
-Check his Myspace page to see how long it took him to change his status to single
-Obsessively check his Myspace page for new comments from girls then read the girls' pages to see his responses
-Have post break-up sex with him and assume you are back together
-Create a collage of your pictures together and cry over the good times
-Do the stereotypical girl thing and binge on ice cream
-Destroy any property of his unless you are absolutely sure you can get away with it
What TO DO after a break-up
-Refrain from calling him at all
-Find a cute guy to have a crush on and obsess about
-Immediately change your status on all your webpages to single
-Post a sexy picture of yourself on Myspace and allow the perverts comments to rebuild your self esteem
-Cut his face out of every picture you can find
-Make a break-up song mix with "Caught Out There" by Kelis definitely included
-Yell "I hate you so much right now" as loud as humanly possible over and over
-Go on the break-up diet (don't eat and lost at least 10 lbs in a week)
Things a man says when he is breaking up with you
-"You know I've been thinking" (this is never good, a man should not be doing independent thinking)
-"I think we need a break" (translation-I want to date around without the guilt but keep you on the back burner for when I want to settle down)
-"I just want you to be happy" (happy and out of my life)
-"I don't want to hurt you" (translation-I don't want you to get pissed and key my car)
-"Things just aren't working out" (translation-this is hard and I don't want to do it anymore)
-"Things aren't the same between us anymore" (translation-the sex isn't as exciting and I want some new booty)
-"The timing isn't right" (which means I'm not ready to be tied down yet)
-"We want different things" (meaning she wants marriage and kids and he wants freedom and threesomes)
-"Let's still be friends" (translation-I don't really want to be your friend but I want to keep you around for post break-up sex)
How to celebrate a break-up
-Put on your best "fuck him girl" dress and "he ain't shit" shoes, pick up your girls and go out for drinking and dancing all night (don't call him afterward)
-Immediately start dating again with as many different guys as possible
-Trash talk him to your girls who will be so relieved that he's gone they will finally tell you what they really thought about him all this time
-Have a gift/card/letter/flower/teddy bear bonfire and do a dance around the fire to "Enough Crying" by Mary J. Blige
-Get on a regular workout regimen so that when you "accidentally" run into him your body will look sick
Signs that it's time to break up with a guy
-He doesn't even bother anymore to come up with a story to explain where he was all night
-There is a permanent butt groove in your couch from his unemployed ass sitting in the same spot all day
-He cusses you out for smiling at the cashier at Subway
-His baby momma just had another kid that looks exactly like him
-You don't even flinch anymore when his cell phone rings at 3 in the morning and he creeps out of bed
-Your total sex time for the past month adds up to an hour
-You forgot what an orgasm feels like
-He demands an allowance like a little kid
Signs he's about to break-up with you
-He picks arguments with you over the stupidest things
-He cancels dates with you at the last minute to hang out with a "cousin" you've never heard of before
-He doesn't answer the phone when you call and takes a really long time to call you back
-When you do talk on the phone he's more inattentive than usual
-He stops trying to initiate sex on a regular basis (for the love of God if this happens do a preemptive break-up because he's definitely about to break up with you)
-He starts being way too nice and considerate (back away slowly because he's feeling guilty so he's about to drop a big bomb on you)
What NOT to do after a break-up
-Call him at 2 in the morning after you've been out drinking and dancing with the girls in your "fuck him girl" dress
-Check his Myspace page to see how long it took him to change his status to single
-Obsessively check his Myspace page for new comments from girls then read the girls' pages to see his responses
-Have post break-up sex with him and assume you are back together
-Create a collage of your pictures together and cry over the good times
-Do the stereotypical girl thing and binge on ice cream
-Destroy any property of his unless you are absolutely sure you can get away with it
What TO DO after a break-up
-Refrain from calling him at all
-Find a cute guy to have a crush on and obsess about
-Immediately change your status on all your webpages to single
-Post a sexy picture of yourself on Myspace and allow the perverts comments to rebuild your self esteem
-Cut his face out of every picture you can find
-Make a break-up song mix with "Caught Out There" by Kelis definitely included
-Yell "I hate you so much right now" as loud as humanly possible over and over
-Go on the break-up diet (don't eat and lost at least 10 lbs in a week)
Things a man says when he is breaking up with you
-"You know I've been thinking" (this is never good, a man should not be doing independent thinking)
-"I think we need a break" (translation-I want to date around without the guilt but keep you on the back burner for when I want to settle down)
-"I just want you to be happy" (happy and out of my life)
-"I don't want to hurt you" (translation-I don't want you to get pissed and key my car)
-"Things just aren't working out" (translation-this is hard and I don't want to do it anymore)
-"Things aren't the same between us anymore" (translation-the sex isn't as exciting and I want some new booty)
-"The timing isn't right" (which means I'm not ready to be tied down yet)
-"We want different things" (meaning she wants marriage and kids and he wants freedom and threesomes)
-"Let's still be friends" (translation-I don't really want to be your friend but I want to keep you around for post break-up sex)
How to celebrate a break-up
-Put on your best "fuck him girl" dress and "he ain't shit" shoes, pick up your girls and go out for drinking and dancing all night (don't call him afterward)
-Immediately start dating again with as many different guys as possible
-Trash talk him to your girls who will be so relieved that he's gone they will finally tell you what they really thought about him all this time
-Have a gift/card/letter/flower/teddy bear bonfire and do a dance around the fire to "Enough Crying" by Mary J. Blige
-Get on a regular workout regimen so that when you "accidentally" run into him your body will look sick
Thursday, March 27, 2014
My life, my life, my life, my life
I decided to write a quick post about what's going on in my life right now. So here it is. A couple of weeks ago I quit my job to start my own law practice. I expected to have everything set up and be ready to take clients by now but things haven't quite worked out that way. I'm realizing that this is ok because I would rather things be done right then done quickly. For the most part I am happy that I decided to try to make it on my own. However I do have brief moments of panic where I think "what if no one ever hires me and I have to find another job or God forbid go back to my old job." After I have my moment I take a deep breath and realize that everything will work out as it should. If I am meant to succeed in my law practice I will and if not then another opportunity will present itself so I will be fine.
One thing I didn't fully appreciate about starting my own practice is just how much free time I would have. Each day I make a mental to-do list and it usually takes at most 2-3 hours to complete the things on my list then I have nothing but free time. I'm used to working literally 9-5 and now I have so much free time. I thought I would spend that time exercising and planning and making healthy meals and networking and writing. So far I've exercised once, done a little networking and this is the most I've written since I left my job. I'm not even going to address planning and making healthy meals. I feel kind of bad that a good chunk of my free time has been spent watching TV and surfing the internet but on the other hand it's only been a couple of weeks since I left my job so I do need some down time to decompress before moving on in my practice.
I suppose the bottom line is that I'm slowly but surely trudging along and trying to figure things out as I go and I know that something good will come out of me taking the chance to quit my job and start a law practice. I am probably one of the more steady and reliable people that I know and I rarely take chances like this. I have always followed a very traditional path so quitting my job and relying on just me to support myself is a big deal for me. Ultimately I'm glad I did it and I know that as a result of my decision good things are ahead of me. I'll be checking in here periodically to vent, rant, write short stories or whatever else comes to mind. I hope you'll tune in.
One thing I didn't fully appreciate about starting my own practice is just how much free time I would have. Each day I make a mental to-do list and it usually takes at most 2-3 hours to complete the things on my list then I have nothing but free time. I'm used to working literally 9-5 and now I have so much free time. I thought I would spend that time exercising and planning and making healthy meals and networking and writing. So far I've exercised once, done a little networking and this is the most I've written since I left my job. I'm not even going to address planning and making healthy meals. I feel kind of bad that a good chunk of my free time has been spent watching TV and surfing the internet but on the other hand it's only been a couple of weeks since I left my job so I do need some down time to decompress before moving on in my practice.
I suppose the bottom line is that I'm slowly but surely trudging along and trying to figure things out as I go and I know that something good will come out of me taking the chance to quit my job and start a law practice. I am probably one of the more steady and reliable people that I know and I rarely take chances like this. I have always followed a very traditional path so quitting my job and relying on just me to support myself is a big deal for me. Ultimately I'm glad I did it and I know that as a result of my decision good things are ahead of me. I'll be checking in here periodically to vent, rant, write short stories or whatever else comes to mind. I hope you'll tune in.
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