I watched the dash cam footage of Sandra Bland's arrest today and the thing that struck me is how none of this would have happened if the cop hadn't overreacted to Sandra's attitude. In case you've been living under a rock and don't know about Sandra Bland I'll give you a quick rundown.
-Sandra Bland was a 28 year old black woman from Illinois
-She got a job at Prairie View A&M in Texas (her alma mater) and drove from Illinois to Texas to start the job
-She was driving on Friday July 10th and was pulled over for failure to signal a lane change
-She was arrested for assaulting a public servant because the cop said she kicked him while she was handcuffed
-She was taken to jail, charged and held on $5,000 bail
-On the morning of Monday July 13th she was found dead in her cell, hung by a trash bag
-The county declared it a suicide
-It is now being investigated by the Texas Rangers and the FBI as a homicide
Now that we're all caught up I'll explain my thoughts. In the dash cam video after the cop went back to Sandra's car with the ticket he asked if she was ok because she looked irritated. She said she was irritated at being pulled over. The officer asked her to put out her cigarette and she refused saying she shouldn't have to put out a cigarette in her own car. The officer told her to get out of the car, she refused and it all went to hell after that.
He threatened to drag her out of the car, he pulled a taser on her and said he would "light her up". She got out of the car and was pissed and continually questioned his tactics. She was handcuffed and pushed to the ground. At some point during that she allegedly kicked him. From the dash cam video you couldn't see everything that happened after she was out of the car and the video of the passerby starts when she's already on the ground so I don't know if she actually kicked him but that's actually beside the point.
The point is the arrest and her death could have been avoided if the cop just let it go when she refused to put out the cigarette. The public is under no obligation to be nice and respectful to the police. We can be rude or have a nasty attitude and that's not illegal. Should we be polite to police when pulled over? Sure but we have no obligation to do so. We can't legally threaten the police but Sandra didn't threaten the police. From the video you could tell from her tone of voice that she was clearly annoyed and had an attitude with the cop but she didn't threaten the cop in any way and that was no reason to make her get out of the car.
My Lawyerly Sidenote: the police can legally ask you to get out of the car during a traffic stop
Sandra Bland didn't pose any credible threat to the cop at that point. She was irritated at being pulled over and seemed to feel like she was pulled over wrongfully and she expressed that. Period. He was legally able to ask her to get out of the car but he didn't have a practical reason to do that. At that point he should have just given her the ticket and went about his day. Instead he didn't even hesitate before he ordered her out of the car.
That set off a chain of events that ultimately led to Sandra Bland's death which is beyond sad. I don't know if she killed herself or if someone else killed her but I do know the circumstances are suspicious as hell surrounding her death. This was a young woman who seemed to be starting a new chapter in her life and now she's dead because she wouldn't put out a cigarette.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Thursday, July 16, 2015
This Can't Be Life
Social media can really make you question your life sometimes. I log on to Facebook in the morning to check my news feed and suddenly am inundated with "I'm engaged", "Look at my cute new baby", "I's married now y'all". And my single, childless ass is sitting there thinking damn am I the only one not married and with no kids? So I log on to LinkedIn trying to be all professional and stuff and see "XYZ has a new job as President of DEF co", "GHI is now a partner at Law Firm, Law Firm & Law Firm" and I think great I'm behind everyone professionally too oh joy.
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"
"Keeping up with the Joneses (or Kardashians even though it pains me to write that)"
Those old phrases speak to people comparing their lives to the lives of others and thinking they don't measure up. So this isn't something new but social media definitely makes it worse. Through social media I hear about the lives of people every day that I would normally only hear about every few years at a class reunion. Since people generally post about positive things happening in their lives (except for those people that are always complaining but that's a subject for another blog) then I am constantly seeing these great milestones in their lives and I end up comparing them to what's happening or not happening in my life. It can definitely make you feel like everyone but you is doing great at this thing called life.
Sidenote: people who went to University of Michigan Law School between 2004 and 2007 are all of you married/getting married/having babies? I mean seriously all of you really? Anyway back to my main rant.
However I have to remind myself that a Facebook post or LinkedIn update doesn't even begin to tell the story of what is really going on in someone's life. I don't know what's going on in your relationships, or what it's like day-to-day having a baby (thank God because I'm not ready for that). No one's life is completely happy and fulfilled all the time. Everyone has struggles and they likely aren't showing all of their struggles on Facebook or Twitter (again unless you are the constant complainer).
Ultimately my private struggles will never measure up to someone else's milestones and accomplishments and to compare them is an exercise in futility, frustration and self doubt. Bottom line is I'm not the only one that doesn't have my shit together but through social media I don't see everyone else's shit.
I guess the moral of this blog is show more of your shit people but not all of it all the time because no one likes a constant complainer.
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"
"Keeping up with the Joneses (or Kardashians even though it pains me to write that)"
Those old phrases speak to people comparing their lives to the lives of others and thinking they don't measure up. So this isn't something new but social media definitely makes it worse. Through social media I hear about the lives of people every day that I would normally only hear about every few years at a class reunion. Since people generally post about positive things happening in their lives (except for those people that are always complaining but that's a subject for another blog) then I am constantly seeing these great milestones in their lives and I end up comparing them to what's happening or not happening in my life. It can definitely make you feel like everyone but you is doing great at this thing called life.
Sidenote: people who went to University of Michigan Law School between 2004 and 2007 are all of you married/getting married/having babies? I mean seriously all of you really? Anyway back to my main rant.
However I have to remind myself that a Facebook post or LinkedIn update doesn't even begin to tell the story of what is really going on in someone's life. I don't know what's going on in your relationships, or what it's like day-to-day having a baby (thank God because I'm not ready for that). No one's life is completely happy and fulfilled all the time. Everyone has struggles and they likely aren't showing all of their struggles on Facebook or Twitter (again unless you are the constant complainer).
Ultimately my private struggles will never measure up to someone else's milestones and accomplishments and to compare them is an exercise in futility, frustration and self doubt. Bottom line is I'm not the only one that doesn't have my shit together but through social media I don't see everyone else's shit.
I guess the moral of this blog is show more of your shit people but not all of it all the time because no one likes a constant complainer.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
To Wrap or Not To Wrap? The answer is wrap, always wrap.
I want to talk about something that has been on my heart for awhile. The issue that has been weighing on me is when I'm watching a movie or TV show and a black woman is sleeping and/or getting out of bed and there's nothing on her head. No head scarf, no satin bonnet, nothing just sleeping all willy nilly. It drives me crazy. I don't know a black woman who doesn't sleep with something on her head. No matter the texture of her hair if a black woman goes to sleep without anything on her head she will wake up the next morning with a head full of dry hair sticking up all over the place. It's just not realistic to show a black woman in bed with her hair running free and every time I see it, it drives me crazy.
Now I realize a woman with a scarf or satin bonnet on her head may not be the most attractive image to show on screen but it provides a realistic portrayal of a black woman. Whenever I see a black woman with a naked head in bed I think whoever wrote that scene must not know any black women in real life. Oh yeah the same goes for showing a black woman in the shower without a shower cap. Unless she's washing her hair in the shower a black woman is not going to risk getting her hair wet by taking a shower without a cap. I saw a recent episode of Being Mary Jane and Gabrielle Union was in the shower with a shower cap on and I wanted to stand up and applaud.
While we're on the subject of black women's hair on TV how did Olivia on Scandal go from curly and wild to straight and laid in that warehouse the other week? Did her captors have a pressing comb and flatiron on deck, were there Dominican women on hand to give her a blowout, did they have a tub of relaxer on standby? I need answers Shonda Rhimes, I need answers.
The moral of the story for TV and movie writers, directors and producers get a real black friend or two and educate yourself before you write that bedroom or shower scene. Thank you.
Now I realize a woman with a scarf or satin bonnet on her head may not be the most attractive image to show on screen but it provides a realistic portrayal of a black woman. Whenever I see a black woman with a naked head in bed I think whoever wrote that scene must not know any black women in real life. Oh yeah the same goes for showing a black woman in the shower without a shower cap. Unless she's washing her hair in the shower a black woman is not going to risk getting her hair wet by taking a shower without a cap. I saw a recent episode of Being Mary Jane and Gabrielle Union was in the shower with a shower cap on and I wanted to stand up and applaud.
While we're on the subject of black women's hair on TV how did Olivia on Scandal go from curly and wild to straight and laid in that warehouse the other week? Did her captors have a pressing comb and flatiron on deck, were there Dominican women on hand to give her a blowout, did they have a tub of relaxer on standby? I need answers Shonda Rhimes, I need answers.
The moral of the story for TV and movie writers, directors and producers get a real black friend or two and educate yourself before you write that bedroom or shower scene. Thank you.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
If Loving Ratchet is Wrong I Don't Wanna Be Right
I am a professional black woman and I love ratchet reality shows. From Real Housewives of Atlanta to virtually all of the Love and Hip Hops I love them all. They are fun and ridiculous. These shows provide an escape from my reality and I enjoy them. Recently VH1 (the undisputed champ of ratchet reality TV) had a show called Sorority Sisters which was about black women who are members of various black sororities and like in all of these shows they argued and fought and looked petty and ignorant at times. The sororities got so mad about this show that there were petitions and outrage and discussions and advertisers pulling out of the show and finally this week it was announced that VH1 was cancelling the show and burying the remaining episodes on the TV wasteland that is Friday night. The sororities applauded and other respectable black people called for similar action for the other reality shows that show black women in a bad light.
This isn't the first time there has been outrage about these reality shows but this is one of the few times the efforts worked. Here's my problem with the outrage about the negative portrayals of black women in reality shows: it wouldn't be a problem if there were a variety of portrayals of black women on TV and in movies and if the negative stereotypes of black women weren't so persistent. On TV the portrayals of black women are limited to reality shows, Kerry Washington on Scandal, Viola Davis on How to Get Away With Murder and random black sidekick. The stereotype of black women as loud, angry, eye rolling and neck rolling has been around for awhile and admittedly these reality shows illustrate that stereotype.
White women look bad on these reality shows also, on Real Housewives of New Jersey Teresa flipped over a table, on Mob Wives those women threaten to kill each other every week yet there are a plethora of positive portrayals of white women on TV and in movies. The public at large doesn't think all white women are violent because there are positive and varied images of white women to contradict the negative (also white women don't have the same negative stereotypes as black women, they have their own stereotypes which is a subject for another blog). While the positive and varied images of black women are few and far between.
When it comes to these reality shows often what I hear from black people who dislike the shows is that they reinforce the negative stereotypes and make us all look bad or as I've heard and said often "they set black people back." When those shows make up the majority of black women's representation on TV then that's a problem because it does make it seem like all black women are loud and fight all the time. However if there were more of a variety of roles for black women on TV then the negative aspect wouldn't matter as much because there would be other perspectives. If black people were truly equal (as some of y'all who say we live in a post racial society believe) we should be able to be catty and fight on TV alongside our white sisters as well as be funny as leads on sitcoms and have a variety of dramatic roles that showcase our complexity as people.
Growing up black in America I've been taught to put my best foot forward when in mixed company (meaning when white people are around). The thought process behind this is that we have it hard enough as it is and we shouldn't play into the negative stereotypes of black people. So when I'm around white people I may speak a little differently and carry myself in a different way to make sure I portray the nice acceptable negro. When I watch the news and hear about a criminal committing a particularly stupid crime I hope he/she isn't black because if one of us does something bad/stupid it makes us all look bad or so I've been taught to believe.
So it's on black people to combat the negative stereotypes by acting positively, which is just unfair. We get the bad stereotypes put on us and we have to combat them by acting intelligently and calmly. If I want to get loud and roll my neck I better wait until only black people are around and that's just not fair. I should be able to act a fool without shaming my entire race. However this "you better act right in front of company" mentality is what causes black people to get in an uproar about these ratchet reality shows. The women on these shows aren't following the rules and are acting a fool in front of white people. Well I say it shouldn't be on each individual black person to constantly combat negative stereotypes with our behavior we should be able to be wonderfully flawed individuals without being a reflection of our race as a whole. Every time a white person publicly does something wrong that's not an indictment of all white people so why should it be so for black people?
While it's great that black women used our voice to get a negative show cancelled it would be even better if we could use our voice to force TV executives to hire more black writers and producers so we can have more shows featuring black people in a variety of lights. The same goes for Latinos and Asians, TV and movies in general need to be more diverse. I realize that I'm asking black people to create the change after I just complained about black people having to combat negative stereotypes themselves but it has to start somewhere and it should not start and end with black people, white people and latino people and asian people all need to be involved. There are some networks *cough* CBS *cough* where there can be a whole night of prime time programming with not a face of color in sight. That needs to change.
So stop fighting ratchet reality TV in part because I love it and have loved it for a long time (I'm looking at you Flavor Flav, remember Flavor of Love? that was the best) but also because it's only a symptom of a larger problem which is a lack of diversity in the media altogether. So start that petition, boycott that network, write a good script and change the system but do not take my ratchet reality TV.
This isn't the first time there has been outrage about these reality shows but this is one of the few times the efforts worked. Here's my problem with the outrage about the negative portrayals of black women in reality shows: it wouldn't be a problem if there were a variety of portrayals of black women on TV and in movies and if the negative stereotypes of black women weren't so persistent. On TV the portrayals of black women are limited to reality shows, Kerry Washington on Scandal, Viola Davis on How to Get Away With Murder and random black sidekick. The stereotype of black women as loud, angry, eye rolling and neck rolling has been around for awhile and admittedly these reality shows illustrate that stereotype.
White women look bad on these reality shows also, on Real Housewives of New Jersey Teresa flipped over a table, on Mob Wives those women threaten to kill each other every week yet there are a plethora of positive portrayals of white women on TV and in movies. The public at large doesn't think all white women are violent because there are positive and varied images of white women to contradict the negative (also white women don't have the same negative stereotypes as black women, they have their own stereotypes which is a subject for another blog). While the positive and varied images of black women are few and far between.
When it comes to these reality shows often what I hear from black people who dislike the shows is that they reinforce the negative stereotypes and make us all look bad or as I've heard and said often "they set black people back." When those shows make up the majority of black women's representation on TV then that's a problem because it does make it seem like all black women are loud and fight all the time. However if there were more of a variety of roles for black women on TV then the negative aspect wouldn't matter as much because there would be other perspectives. If black people were truly equal (as some of y'all who say we live in a post racial society believe) we should be able to be catty and fight on TV alongside our white sisters as well as be funny as leads on sitcoms and have a variety of dramatic roles that showcase our complexity as people.
Growing up black in America I've been taught to put my best foot forward when in mixed company (meaning when white people are around). The thought process behind this is that we have it hard enough as it is and we shouldn't play into the negative stereotypes of black people. So when I'm around white people I may speak a little differently and carry myself in a different way to make sure I portray the nice acceptable negro. When I watch the news and hear about a criminal committing a particularly stupid crime I hope he/she isn't black because if one of us does something bad/stupid it makes us all look bad or so I've been taught to believe.
So it's on black people to combat the negative stereotypes by acting positively, which is just unfair. We get the bad stereotypes put on us and we have to combat them by acting intelligently and calmly. If I want to get loud and roll my neck I better wait until only black people are around and that's just not fair. I should be able to act a fool without shaming my entire race. However this "you better act right in front of company" mentality is what causes black people to get in an uproar about these ratchet reality shows. The women on these shows aren't following the rules and are acting a fool in front of white people. Well I say it shouldn't be on each individual black person to constantly combat negative stereotypes with our behavior we should be able to be wonderfully flawed individuals without being a reflection of our race as a whole. Every time a white person publicly does something wrong that's not an indictment of all white people so why should it be so for black people?
While it's great that black women used our voice to get a negative show cancelled it would be even better if we could use our voice to force TV executives to hire more black writers and producers so we can have more shows featuring black people in a variety of lights. The same goes for Latinos and Asians, TV and movies in general need to be more diverse. I realize that I'm asking black people to create the change after I just complained about black people having to combat negative stereotypes themselves but it has to start somewhere and it should not start and end with black people, white people and latino people and asian people all need to be involved. There are some networks *cough* CBS *cough* where there can be a whole night of prime time programming with not a face of color in sight. That needs to change.
So stop fighting ratchet reality TV in part because I love it and have loved it for a long time (I'm looking at you Flavor Flav, remember Flavor of Love? that was the best) but also because it's only a symptom of a larger problem which is a lack of diversity in the media altogether. So start that petition, boycott that network, write a good script and change the system but do not take my ratchet reality TV.
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