It's a Shame....

I watched the dash cam footage of Sandra Bland's arrest today and the thing that struck me is how none of this would have happened if the cop hadn't overreacted to Sandra's attitude. In case you've been living under a rock and don't know about Sandra Bland I'll give you a quick rundown.

-Sandra Bland was a 28 year old black woman from Illinois
-She got a job at Prairie View A&M in Texas (her alma mater) and drove from Illinois to Texas to start the job
-She was driving on Friday July 10th and was pulled over for failure to signal a lane change
-She was arrested for assaulting a public servant because the cop said she kicked him while she was handcuffed
-She was taken to jail, charged and held on $5,000 bail
-On the morning of Monday July 13th she was found dead in her cell, hung by a trash bag
-The county declared it a suicide
-It is now being investigated by the Texas Rangers and the FBI as a homicide

Now that we're all caught up I'll explain my thoughts. In the dash cam video after the cop went back to Sandra's car with the ticket he asked if she was ok because she looked irritated. She said she was irritated at being pulled over. The officer asked her to put out her cigarette and she refused saying she shouldn't have to put out a cigarette in her own car. The officer told her to get out of the car, she refused and it all went to hell after that.

He threatened to drag her out of the car, he pulled a taser on her and said he would "light her up". She got out of the car and was pissed and continually questioned his tactics. She was handcuffed and pushed to the ground. At some point during that she allegedly kicked him. From the dash cam video you couldn't see everything that happened after she was out of the car and the video of the passerby starts when she's already on the ground so I don't know if she actually kicked him but that's actually beside the point.

The point is the arrest and her death could have been avoided if the cop just let it go when she refused to put out the cigarette. The public is under no obligation to be nice and respectful to the police. We can be rude or have a nasty attitude and that's not illegal. Should we be polite to police when pulled over? Sure but we have no obligation to do so. We can't legally threaten the police but Sandra didn't threaten the police. From the video you could tell from her tone of voice that she was clearly annoyed and had an attitude with the cop but she didn't threaten the cop in any way and that was no reason to make her get out of the car.

My Lawyerly Sidenote: the police can legally ask you to get out of the car during a traffic stop

Sandra Bland didn't pose any credible threat to the cop at that point. She was irritated at being pulled over and seemed to feel like she was pulled over wrongfully and she expressed that. Period. He was legally able to ask her to get out of the car but he didn't have a practical reason to do that. At that point he should have just given her the ticket and went about his day. Instead he didn't even hesitate before he ordered her out of the car.

That set off a chain of events that ultimately led to Sandra Bland's death which is beyond sad. I don't know if she killed herself or if someone else killed her but I do know the circumstances are suspicious as hell surrounding her death. This was a young woman who seemed to be starting a new chapter in her life and now she's dead because she wouldn't put out a cigarette.

This Can't Be Life

Social media can really make you question your life sometimes. I log on to Facebook in the morning to check my news feed and suddenly am inundated with "I'm engaged", "Look at my cute new baby", "I's married now y'all". And my single, childless ass is sitting there thinking damn am I the only one not married and with no kids? So I log on to LinkedIn trying to be all professional and stuff and see "XYZ has a new job as President of DEF co", "GHI is now a partner at Law Firm, Law Firm & Law Firm" and I think great I'm behind everyone professionally too oh joy.

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"

"Keeping up with the Joneses (or Kardashians even though it pains me to write that)"

Those old phrases speak to people comparing their lives to the lives of others and thinking they don't measure up. So this isn't something new but social media definitely makes it worse. Through social media I hear about the lives of people every day that I would normally only hear about every few years at a class reunion. Since people generally post about positive things happening in their lives (except for those people that are always complaining but that's a subject for another blog) then I am constantly seeing these great milestones in their lives and I end up comparing them to what's happening or not happening in my life. It can definitely make you feel like everyone but you is doing great at this thing called life.

Sidenote: people who went to University of Michigan Law School between 2004 and 2007 are all of you married/getting married/having babies? I mean seriously all of you really? Anyway back to my main rant.

However I have to remind myself that a Facebook post or LinkedIn update doesn't even begin to tell the story of what is really going on in someone's life. I don't know what's going on in your relationships, or what it's like day-to-day having a baby (thank God because I'm not ready for that). No one's life is completely happy and fulfilled all the time. Everyone has struggles and they likely aren't showing all of their struggles on Facebook or Twitter (again unless you are the constant complainer).

Ultimately my private struggles will never measure up to someone else's milestones and accomplishments and to compare them is an exercise in futility, frustration and self doubt. Bottom line is I'm not the only one that doesn't have my shit together but through social media I don't see everyone else's shit.

I guess the moral of this blog is show more of your shit people but not all of it all the time because no one likes a constant complainer.